Sex Compulsivity/ Love addiction

Sex Compulsion

Healthy sexual behavior recognizes one's need to explore their sexuality within a positive manner in an affirming environment. This occurs when some one has a good understanding of their sexual values, preferences, attractions, history, and behaviors. People have developed a realistic and positive body image. For many in the LGBT community that has meant shedding the shame and guilt associated with sexual thoughts and desired intimacy that is not heterosexual in nature. Positive sexuality is when someone has the ability to get and give sexual pleasure while setting sexual boundaries.

Sex Compulsivity is the inability to control one's sexual behavior and thinking. Out-of-control sexual behavior often continues in spite of tremendous consequences, including damaged relationships, loss of self-esteem, sexually transmitted diseases, financial and/or legal problems.

Signs of sex addiction can include:

Multiple and/or anonymous sexual partners, and/or frequent one-night stands
Sexual behavior that frequently accompanies drug or alcohol abuse
Sexual behavior that includes risk-taking, unsafe sex and/or potential exposure to sexually transmitted diseases
Obsessive use of pornography, phone-sex services, or pornographic web sites
Obsession with and sexual harassment of another person
Severe mood changes surrounding sexual activity
Neglect of relationships, work or other responsibilities as a result of thinking about or pursuing sex
A sense that sexual behavior is "out of control," and an on-going desire to control or limit sexual behavior

Take the Sex Addiction Self-Assessment

Love Addiction

Love addiction is often perceived to be "less serious" than other process addictions i.e. compulsive sexual addictions, eating disorders or self-harm / mutilation addictions. In reality it is extremely painful and can be very dangerous to both the addict and their partners. Our culture has traditionally glorified love addiction with the notion that we fall in love and live "happily ever after." This ignores the groundwork that relationships require.

Signs of Love Addiction:

Compartmentalization of relationships from other areas of life
Mistake intensity for intimacy (drama driven relationships)
Seek to avoid rejection and abandonment at any cost
Afraid to trust anyone in a relationship
Highly manipulative and controlling of others
Perceive attraction, attachment, and sex as basic human needs, on a par with food and water
Sense of worthlessness without a relationship or partner
Feelings that a relationship makes one whole, or more of a man or woman
Escalating tolerance for high-risk behavior
Intense need to control self, others, circumstances
Presence of other addictive or compulsive problems
Insatiable appetite in area of difficulty (sex, love or attachment / need)
Using others, sex & relationships to alter mood or relieve emotional pain
Tendency to trade sexual activity for "love" or attachment
Tendency to leave one relationship for another. (Inability to be without a relationship.)

How Pride Institute can help.

Self-Assessment

Sex Addiction is a term used to describe the behavior of people who have an intense drive to have sex or are obsessed with sexual activity. People who have a sex addiction generally exhibit distorted thinking and commonly deny that their behavior is problematic. Some people are able to accept that they have a sex addiction only after facing multiple, life-altering consequences.

Research suggests that LGBT individuals have higher relapse rates (compared to heterosexuals) following substance abuse treatment in mainstream programs. This is due, in part, to co-occurring sex and sexuality related issues that go unaddressed and then contribute to a relapse. For many, the sexual issues constitute the primary problem; substance abuse often develops as a coping strategy and will return unless the sexual issues are addressed simultaneously with the substance abuse.

Have you wondered if your sexual behavior is problematic? The following questions are provided to help determine whether or not you may have a sex addiction.

Note: This self assessment is for information purposes only. It does not replace a formal evaluation by a medical or mental health professional.

Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
Do your friends, family or significant others express concern about your sexual behavior?
Do you find that the time you spend looking for sex, viewing pornography, or using phone or computer sex services is becoming greater than the time you spend with your intimate contacts or romantic partners?
Do you find that you hide the extent or nature of your sexual activities from others?
Do you place yourself at risk of arrest or other consequences as your pursue sexual activities?
Do you ever engage in unsafe or risky sexual activities even though you know it could cause you harm?
Do you ever feel depressed after you have sex?
Do you ever find that your sexual activities are emotionally harmful to other people?
Do you ever find that drug use and sex tend to go together?
Are you unable to stop patterns of sexual behavior, even though you have promised yourself or others that you would?

Call us at 800-54-PRIDE to speak with an Information and Admissions counselor.

Resources

The following links provide useful information on sex addiction:*

Call 800-54-PRIDE for a free assessment and for further information.

*Information on these sites is deemed reliable but is outside the control of PRIDE Institute.